i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He did a backflip because drugs
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
