his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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