make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
