Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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