Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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