angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
