All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
