Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
cat food counts as protein by the way
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
