Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize