So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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