Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Too much gin, very little bucket
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize