Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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