East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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