He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
