In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
