Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
