it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
