Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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