is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
