its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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