A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize