someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
