I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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