i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
its liver damage thursday
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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