He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
