Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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