heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
