And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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