Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
