There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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