All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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