I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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