Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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