Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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