Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My dick has a subreddit
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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