I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
