So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
