I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't deserve a penis
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
