Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
