Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
