But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Someone shit on the floor
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
