Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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