you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
