I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
