i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
