Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
