You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
