i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
