Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
