It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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