Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize