Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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