why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm too high and old for this...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
