yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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