I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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