I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
tell me about the eggs
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
