Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
