He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
