I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
